Baby on Board: Why We Include Our Firstborn Son in Shopping for Newborn Essentials

Our son, Jere, is quite territorial. We’re afraid he might find it challenging to adjust once our new baby is here, so we want to ensure we ease him slowly into it.

So, we have been involving Jere as much as we can in getting ready for the baby's arrival. We want him to feel included.

Most importantly, we want Jere to understand that adding a new member to our family doesn’t mean he’s being replaced.

Recently, we had Jere help us go through his old clothes, sorting what we could keep for our new child.

Pediatrician Anna Mendenhall, MD, FAAP, advised, “Once they understand that a baby is on the way, include your child on shopping trips to get new items for the baby.”

Benefits of Taking Older Children Shopping for a New Sibling

Promotes Involvement

When we picked up the baby's nappies, we had Jere put them in the shopping cart. It’s a simple gesture that can really go a long way.

Including older children like Jere in shopping trips makes them feel involved in the preparations for the new baby.

This involvement can ease potential feelings of jealousy or exclusion. Most importantly, it reinforces in Jere that he’s an important part of the family. 

Fosters Sense of Responsibility

When we shop for new baby essentials, we consult Jere, asking, "Do you think the baby will like this?"

Choosing items for the new baby can give older children like Jere a sense of responsibility. It encourages them to think about the needs and preferences of their sibling, and take an active role in helping out.

When Jere is allowed to provide input on what to buy for his new sibling, it can also boost his self-esteem.

Feeling that his opinions are valued even before the baby is born makes him more likely to embrace his role as a big brother.

​​Eases the Transition

Participating in shopping trips can help ease the transition for Jere by making the new baby’s arrival feel more real and less intimidating.

For older children around Jere’s age, who don’t fully understand pregnancy and childbirth, having discussions about what the baby needs makes the concept of a new sibling more concrete.

Builds Excitement

When we shop for the new baby with Jere, it can transform any feelings of anxiety or uncertainty into anticipation.

Seeing the tangible items that the baby will use can make Jere look forward to his new sibling’s arrival.

Enhances Understanding of the Baby’s Needs

Shopping for the new baby’s needs with Jere allows us to explain the needs of a newborn, such as why certain items are necessary.

When we’re out shopping with Jere, it’s important for us to emphasise that the new items we're getting are for the baby.

We hope this educational aspect can help Jere understand what to expect and how he can be helpful once the baby arrives.

Recently, we got a new pram and asked Jere, "Who's this pram for?" He proudly answered, "Baby!"

The new pram has a booster seat at the back for Jere to stand on, which we hope will encourage him to take walks with his younger sibling.

Promotes Positive Sibling Relationships

By involving Jere in picking items for the new baby, we can encourage positive feelings towards his new sibling even before they arrive.

This early involvement can lay the foundation for a strong and loving relationship between our children.

The Bottomline

The journey of welcoming a new family member is an exciting yet delicate process, especially for an older sibling like Jere.

Knowing our son, we understand he needs time to adjust to new situations. We’re hopeful that actively involving him in the gradual preparation will help him embrace our newest family member and his new role as a big brother.

While there’s always a chance Jere might struggle with the transition when the baby actually arrives, we believe involving him now will make a big difference.

How did you involve your older kids in preparing for the arrival of a newborn? Feel free to share your experiences with us by leaving a comment below!
Read here to find out what else we are doing to prepare our firstborn to be a big brother to our new baby.

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