Friendship in Marriage: Do You Consider Your Spouse Your Best Friend?

A 2014 National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) study showed that married couples who said their spouse is their best friend had significantly greater life satisfaction rates than those who said otherwise.

“Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship, mutual respect and enjoyment of each other’s company," said Dr. John Gottman, world-renowned American psychologist and The Gottman Institute co-founder.

We're not a relationship expert. But having been a married couple for eight years now, we realise that in the tapestry of marriage, woven with love, faith, and commitment, one thread stands out as particularly crucial: deep friendship.

There's much more to a strong marriage than romantic gestures, physical intimacy, or grand declarations of love.

Friendship in marriage and putting Christ at the centre has truly been the cornerstone of our relationship. These two things allow us to have a healthy marriage, providing us with a sturdy foundation that can withstand every storm that comes our way.

Married life is about the daily practice of dying to self, which involves denying oneself and honouring God by continuously choosing to love each other. The goal is not to please oneself or one's spouse but to serve Christ in everything we do.

As best friends, we find comfort in the countless conversations we share throughout the day and joy when we spend quality time together, even if it's just over the phone. We talk during Gabes' commutes to work, lunch breaks, and nighttime after long work days.

We are each other's confidants, sounding boards, and cheerleaders.

That's why it's so difficult when we're arguing and not in speaking terms. Not being able to talk to our best friends and share our thoughts with each other is very disheartening.

Surely, we can talk to other good friends about some good news. But it's different because the context isn't there.

Only the two of us truly understand what it took for the other to achieve a particular goal. So, only the two of us have a deeper appreciation for what's been accomplished.

Our deep friendship and emotional connection, built on shared laughter, inside jokes, and years of mutual understanding and emotional intimacy, is irreplaceable.

The Bottomline

External factors change over time, but friendship in marriage is and should remain constant.

For us, faith in God and high-quality friendship in marriage are the pillars of happy marriages. It's what has been sustaining us through the years with unwavering love and grace.

Are you good friends with your husband or wife? True friendship definitely bonds people, but do you also believe it's essential for marital satisfaction? We'd love to hear your thoughts, so please share them below!

Discover what else we've learned in our eight years of marriage by reading here.

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