Does Sexual Intimacy in Marriage Get Better?

2018 data from the General Social Survey revealed that one in four married couples are having sexual intercourse once a week.

In Britain, the results of three National Surveys of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (NATSAL) published in 2019 showed that about half of couples in serious relationships have sex less than once a week.

10% of married couples haven't had sex in the past year, according to the 2018 General Social Survey data.

The frequency of sex in long-term relationships seems to decline through the years, but does that mean a couple's sex life gets worse over time?

Physical Intimacy in Our Marriage

Despite common misconceptions that passion dwindles and sexual desire fades in long-term relationships, we've found the opposite to be true.

The longer we are together and the more intimate sex we have with each other, the better our sex life gets.

Being sexually intimate with each other has been good for our well-being.

Sexual health expert Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD noted, “Sexually active people take fewer sick days."

This is because sexual activity can actually help improve one's immune system.

A Wilkes University research discovered that college students who had sexual relations or activities once or twice a week displayed significantly greater levels of immunoglobulin A (IgA), one of the immune system's antibodies, than those who didn't have frequent sexual activity.

But reaping the benefits doesn't happen overnight.

It requires patience to explore new heights, and develop emotional and sexual intimacy with your spouse.

The key lies in being willing to learn and grow together.

Instead of assuming that sex will naturally become mundane with the same partner, we approach it as a journey of exploration and discovery.

We both had sexual contact in our previous romantic relationships, but none of those helped in our relationship.

We actually had to unlearn those experiences, and let go of preconceived notions and expectations from those relationships in order to fully learn about each other and embrace the sexual intimacy in our marriage.

Our first sexual encounter with each other was filled with pressure, especially since we waited until marriage to engage in the intimate act of sex.

We took the time to understand each other's bodies and desires, and talk openly about our needs and preferences. This has allowed us to deepen our physical and emotional connection.

More importantly, these efforts have made our experiences more fulfiling.

Above all, we discovered sexual intimacy is not merely about physical sexual activity.

It's more about the vulnerability and greater emotional intimacy we experience when we're engaged in sexual activity.

This creates a cycle of positive experience of emotional and physical intimacy in our union. Sexual intercourse improves our emotional closeness, and emotional intimacy improves our sexual intimacy.

The Bottomline

Sexual intimacy can get better even after years of being married to the same person, but it requires patience, vulnerability, communication, and a willingness to continuously learn each other.

Sexual intimacy with the right person is like medicine to the soul, promoting our physical, emotional, and mental health. It's a source of joy, connection, and fulfilment.

How do you sustain sexual satisfaction in your marriage? Does sexual intimacy make you feel emotionally connected with your partner? How does it affect other areas of your life?

Don't hesitate to share your thoughts by commenting below!

Discover what else we've learned in our eight years of marriage by reading here.

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