"Happy wife, happy life" is a scam!

We don't subscribe to this idea because it creates an imbalance in responsibility for happiness, neglecting our individual needs and even promoting gender stereotypes.

This mantra also tends to focus on short-term happiness instead of fostering long-term harmony in the relationship.

As a supportive partner, our goal isn't to keep each other happy all the time but to help each other thrive in life. That's why in our marriage, we always strive to challenge each other!

Below are ways how we challenge each other and why we do it.

Holding Each Other Accountable

As supportive partners, we challenge each other not out of spite but to help each other achieve each other's goals.

In our marriage, we hold each other accountable to ensure we stay on track, even–– and most especially–– when life gets tough.

Life's difficulties can lead to self-sabotage, so having a supportive partner who pushes us toward our aspirations is necessary.

There was a time when Anna wanted to quit her job because of the high-pressure work environment, but Gabes encouraged her to press on. He reminded her not to make decisions at the height of her emotions.

Today, Anna is grateful Gabes was there to encourage her to push forward.

Supporting each other in a marriage sometimes means pushing through discomfort and holding each other to the standards they've set for themselves.

Revealing Each Other's Blind Spots

A supportive partner plays a crucial role in helping one identify and address one's blind spots.

Blind spots are areas where one may be unaware of certain behaviours or traits that could negatively impact one's life.

Ignoring these issues, especially when lacking self-awareness, can lead to embarrassment and missed opportunities.

As a supportive partner to each other, we've created a safe environment at home to address negative characteristics privately.

In this safe space, we do our best to bring to light each other's blind spots to prevent recurring issues that could harm our personal and professional relationships, and avoid being misunderstood by others.

We trust each other to provide honest feedback that could help us become better individuals.

This continuous process of checking and refining each other has been the key to our positive growth over time. It is what enables us to face various life situations outside of our marriage confidently.

Refining Each Other's Ideas

In a healthy relationship, refining each other's ideas is another key element of mutual support.

In our case, this involves engaging in brainstorming sessions where we challenge and question each other's thoughts to ensure they are well-thought-out and viable. Knowing we have individual lapses and shortcomings, we leverage each other's strengths to build up each other's ideas.

When your partner shares ideas, discuss with them to help shape their ideas before bringing them to the outside world. This practice not only ensures you're both fully present in your conversations but also lets both of you internally address potential criticisms or challenges.

Even if your partner has no expertise in a particular area, your partner's perspective can still be valuable by asking insightful questions and offering fresh viewpoints.

Having a supportive partner is like having a built-in sounding board at home, helping improve the chances of success in personal and professional endeavours.

As a supportive partner to each other, we find this level of involvement vital in creating a sense of shared purpose. When we're both on board with an idea from the start, we're more likely to be enthusiastic and invested in helping turn our partner's dreams into reality.

Communicating Honestly and Empathising With Each Other

Empathising with your partner's feelings, especially when they feel you've offended them, is essential in healthy relationships.

When conflicts arise, it’s common for at least one in the relationship to retreat and internalise their feelings.

While taking time and space to process the situation can help, it can create a significant communication barrier the longer it takes and lead to unresolved issues that can build up over time.

We avoid this by addressing the problems openly with empathy rather than shutting down completely.

Effective communication skills are crucial in these circumstances because the goal isn't to merely move past the conflict for peace's sake. These conversations should be approached with the intention of truly understanding each other and fostering growth in the relationship.

In our case, we've learned early on how to express how the other's words, actions, and reactions affect us immediately, knowing it will allow them to understand and acknowledge the impact of their behaviour. It also allows us to reflect on our own words, actions, and reactions, and understand why we did what we've done or felt what we've felt.

As we intently engage in a dialogue and open up about our own feelings, we pave the way for genuine apologies and corrections.

By being vulnerable with each other and communicating honestly about our problems, even when it's uncomfortable, we're able to resolve issues, prevent them from recurring, and avoid building up resentments toward each other.

The Bottomline

A supportive partner is able to challenge you to address issues intently and cultivate an environment where both of you can grow and thrive as individuals and as a couple.

Challenging each other in a marriage isn't easy. It requires vulnerability, honesty, and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths. But we believe it has been one of the cornerstones of our marriage, helping us strengthen our relationship over the years.

In our union, we don't intend to seek temporary happiness. We aim to build a foundation for long-term joy and partnership, and that means embracing the way we challenge each other to become better.

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