How to Know If He's The One

How do you figure out if the one you're spending quality time with right now is "the one" for you? Is it enough to be on the same page and have mutual respect, or are there more things to look for in someone?

In our previous blog, Gabes shared how he realised I'm "the one" for him. This time, it's my turn to share how I became so sure he was made for me!

Sense of Direction

One good sign that I knew Gabes was the one for me was his sense of direction.

When I met Gabes, we were both still at University and in our early 20s. Despite our young age, he had a clear plan for his life, outlining what he wanted to achieve by the time he was in his 30s, 40s, and so on.

Gabes' level of foresight and maturity in decision-making showed me that he really knew what he was doing with his life, which I found incredibly attractive.

I appreciated Gabes having a long-term vision because it allowed me to see how I could fit into his plan and support him on his journey.

Over time, Gabes began to include me in his plans, envisioning a future together and considering how I fit into his life's trajectory. This inclusiveness reinforced my sense of direction and supported my own aspirations, helping me identify my gifts and the steps needed to achieve my career goals.

I further realised we were a match made in heaven because our personalities really do complement each other.

Gabes can sometimes focus too much on the future and what's next, failing to live in the moment. I, on the other hand, bring in the spontaneity to our union and remind him to enjoy the present.

To this day, we continue to build our dreams together, further nurturing a healthy and lasting relationship.

Determined Pursuit

Gabes knew very clearly what he wanted, and that was me.

Gabes has always been reassuring that he only wanted me, even when I had so many reservations about him while he was still pursuing me.

Despite seeing me at my worst and learning about some difficult parts of my past, Gabes remained unwavering in his intention to be with me.

Despite seeing my deepest insecurities and flaws, and all possible reasons to not want me, Gabes kept knocking on my door, telling me, "Okay. I still want to be with you."

I found Gabes' determination and confidence in the decision he's firmly made incredibly admirable.

As time went by, I realised that someone like Gabes, who has already seen me at my worst and still chooses to be with me, would make a great life partner.

After seeing how committed Gabes was in his conviction that he only wanted me, I knew he was "the one". He showed me that if we do end up together, he's going to be there with me through the best and the worst of times, and that's what makes a successful relationship.

Willingness to Grow

I knew I was going to have a healthy relationship with Gabes because he was very teachable.

Since I was Pentecostal and Gabes was Catholic, we initially had different beliefs and interpretations of the Bible.

Yet, Gabes has always been open to learning.

When I shared with Gabes why I believed what I believed in, he was receptive and willing to explore the Scriptures with me.

If the Bible supported a particular belief, Gabes accepted it as the ultimate truth and adjusted his views accordingly.

Gabes' teachability was not limited to our discussions about our faith.

In any conversation where I brought up valid points or expressed concerns, Gabes was always willing to adapt, change, reflect, and learn.

That's one of the things Gabes and I share in common–– our commitment to personal growth and avoiding the prideful stance of thinking we have everything figured out.

Even if we argue sometimes because of our strong opinions, we're both willing to humble ourselves and understand each other's perspectives.

Both of us being teachable allowed us to grow together and foster a long-lasting relationship, and I loved that about us from the early stages.

Generosity

Gabes' generosity was another one of the most important signs I knew he was "the one".

Although I appreciate that Gabes would usually treat me whenever we went out during our University days, despite not having a source of income yet, what I really love the most is his willingness to spend time with me.

Gabes invested so much time in me, particularly helping me finish my degree. He's the kind of person who wouldn't just offer moral support. He will really go out of his way and exert effort to help me.

Despite all the things he had on his plate, Gabes made sure I felt like a priority.

To this day, Gabes is still the same man, continuing to invest time and effort in me and our family.

Not a "Yes" Man

Finally, I knew Gabes was the right guy for me because he's not a "yes" man.

Gabes would always push me to be a better person, which sometimes meant disagreeing with everybody and saying "no".

Even before we were officially a couple, Gabes had the courage to say "no" to me. He would question my decisions by posing crucial questions like, "Why?" and "Are you sure?"

These questions allow me to reflect further, seriously consider Gabes' points, and make truly well-informed decisions.

Gabes is the kind of person who always thinks long-term and looks at the bigger picture, and over time, he has challenged and influenced me to do the same thing.

Gabes wouldn't beat around the bush to get my validation or attention, even when we were still getting to know each other, and I appreciate that so much about him.

Gabes has always believed that being in a relationship means bringing light to situations where the other person might be walking in ignorance. His honesty and ability to challenge me have been invaluable to our long-term relationship and my individual growth.

Eight years of marriage later, Gabes will still say "no" when he believes it's necessary and "yes" when it makes sense.

The Bottomline

Reflecting on these five reasons I knew Gabes was marriage material, I am reminded of the early days when I was getting to know him.

As I uncovered who Gabes was, I truly felt like I had found the best guy in the world for me, and I still feel that way today.

I hope this blog helps you discern the qualities you're looking for in a potential partner for the long haul. Remember, real love isn't just about feelings. It's mostly about making the right decisions.

Have you found "the one" who makes everyday life and your relationship exciting? What are the signs that made you realise they're the right person to be with forever? Don't hesitate to share your stories in the comment section below!

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