#AskTheDekus: Answering the Hottest Questions About Our At-Home Birth Experience
We just had our second child via a successful vaginal birth after C-section (VBAC) at home!
In this question-and-answer (Q&A) session, we share the pivotal moments of our home birth journey, the decisions that led us to pursue a VBAC at home, and the preparations that made it possible.
Why did you want a VBAC so badly?
Both of our pregnancies have been low-risk pregnancies.
Anna's body naturally progressed in labour with Jere, our first baby, yet she ended up having a C-section to deliver him.
To this day, we believe that the C-section was unnecessary. It led to a difficult recovery, including pain, restricted mobility, and dependency on medication.
We, especially Anna, were adamant about not wanting to go through that again. So, we felt strongly about a VBAC being the best choice for us.
What was the tipping point that made you want to pursue a home birth?
The original plan was to have a VBAC at the hospital where we had our first baby.
Then, our doula asked two pivotal questions that made us rethink our choices: "Why are you still at the same hospital where you had your C-section? Do they support vaginal birth after C-section, and have you checked their policies?"
Pondering on those questions, we decided to switch hospitals.
At the new hospital, the head consultant of the midwife-led unit informed us that the birthing suite we preferred had a 50% chance of being closed, which meant we could end up in the labour ward. If we end up in the labour ward, Anna will most likely end up having another C-section.
The head consultant then went on to suggest we have a home birth, considering our strong desire for a more controlled environment.
Hearing such a recommendation from a healthcare professional boosted our confidence in home birth, ultimately leading us to decide for Anna to give birth at home.
What kind of scaremongering did you receive from the hospital regarding VBAC? How did you navigate it?
The hospital warned us about the risks of VBAC at home, such as uterine rupture and haemorrhage.
Yet, the staff was unable to provide detailed statistics or case studies.
We kept asking specific questions to truly understand the risks and likelihoods. It was crucial to dig deeper and get the full picture. Although it wasn't easy, we're glad we did because we were able to make an informed decision in the end.
How did you deal with the pain of the contractions while being at home?
It's specified in our comprehensive birth plan that Anna preferred natural pain relief methods.
What really helped Anna manage the intense pain during labour was the shower and warm water in the birthing pool.
Aside from the physical aspect, there's also mental conditioning involved. Anna had a laser-sharp focus on the end goal, which was our baby's birth. Knowing she'd soon be holding our second child in her arms helped her stay strong and in control.
How did it feel to give birth vaginally after a prior C-section?
It was incredible.
The moment Kay, our newborn baby, was out, the intense pain Anna was feeling instantly disappeared.
Anna was overwhelmed with relief and joy, shifting quickly to excitement about meeting our newborn child and ensuring the baby's wellbeing.
Gabes, as the birth partner, also felt relieved knowing the home birth was successful.
How was your third stage of labour and placenta delivery? Were there tears or bleeding?
Everything went smoothly.
There was initial concern about bleeding, which turned out to be a mixture of blood, urine, and water.
The placenta was delivered without issues.
Anna had a second-degree tear, which healed naturally and quickly.
In less than an hour after our new baby's arrival, we were all settled in bed as a family of four, revelling in the successful normal birth we just had.
Considering you’ve had a prior C-section and this time a normal delivery, what was your birthing experience like?
Giving birth vaginally was definitely more painful at the moment compared to a hospital birth C-section.
However, the recovery was incredibly fast, which is the best thing about a VBAC.
Anna felt great within days, going for a walk two days after giving birth to baby Kay. Within a week, she was already out and about, back to her normal day-to-day activities.
Aside from allowing Anna to feel physically and mentally better, the quick recovery has let her bond more and immediately with our newborn, which wasn't the case when we had Jere.
How did you prepare yourself mentally, knowing the discouraging statistics of black women when it comes to births and the risks of home births leading to complications?
We thoroughly researched the data to understand what we were getting ourselves into.
We hired a doula to ensure we got the best support from a knowledgeable expert.
We watched countless YouTube videos about home births to further deepen our understanding, did a hypnobirthing course, and signed Anna up for yoga classes.
The relationship we built with our midwifery unit and the continuity of care they provide, from the beginning of our consultation to the postpartum period, gave us confidence that all our concerns are taken seriously.
Knowing the statistics of black women and birthing, we did our best to avoid the biases often faced in hospitals and create a safe, supportive environment for our planned home birth.
How did you communicate with your family about your decision to have a home birth after a C-section? Did you keep it a secret from your family members to avoid possible discouragement and scaremongering?
Once we've made up our minds about something, we stand by our choice and follow through with it, and our family knows that well about both of us.
We communicated openly with our family about our decision, explaining thoroughly the research and preparation we did.
While they had initial concerns, which was perfectly understandable, they were ultimately very supportive.
We didn't keep our choice to have a home birth after a C-section a secret, but we only shared it with those close to us to avoid unnecessary stress and unwelcomed opinions.
Knowing our family's supportive nature and our firm decision helped us handle any potential discouragement and scaremongering.
Why wasn’t your family present during the home birth?
Our family wasn't present during the home birth service because everything happened so quickly.
When the three of us got home after Anna picked up Gabes from the station and Jere from the nursery, we were surprised to discover that the contractions were real.
Within four or five hours, the new baby was already here–– nine days earlier than the expected due date.
With a doula, two midwives, Gabes, and even Jere in the room, there wasn't much space left for more people.
In a way, we consider our family's absence during the home birth a blessing in disguise. Had they been there, they would've just worried too much, adding pressure to an already intense situation for Anna.
We didn't plan to exclude our family; it just unfolded that way.
However, our family has always been very supportive and close, and they quickly arrived as soon as we told them about the home birth we just had.
How was the toilet birth experience?
When we thought of a home birth, we envisioned a water birth with a beautiful setup. We even decorated a room in our house, hanging photos all over the walls to create an intimate setting for our home birth.
But with everything escalating quickly, things didn't turn out the way we planned and Anna ended up giving birth on the toilet.
The toilet provided the support that Anna needed, helping her get into a squat position, which she couldn't do on her own due to the severe pain.
The warm water in the pool was great for pain relief, but it just didn't work as we expected for Anna.
Giving birth on the toilet was unexpected yet humbling.
Despite the sudden change in plans, the experience was still fantastic. We'd actually recommend considering the toilet as part of one's home birth plan!
How did you get the birth pool?
We didn't buy our own birthing pool because it’s expensive.
So, we sought help from the home birth community, which was very supportive and instrumental throughout our journey.
We learned that local councils have a couple of birth pools they lend to families that need them at no cost.
We were able to borrow one from our local council. Then, we just bought a liner for about £40.
After our home birth, we passed the birth pool to another family that needed it and borrowed it from the local council.
Do you have to pay for a home birth? Is it private?
No, you don't have to pay to give birth at home.
The National Health Service (NHS) provides support to those who request to give birth at home. However, you need to ensure you're aligned with a hospital experienced in and supportive of home births.
The only private expense we had was hiring a doula, and no, you don't need to hire a doula to successfully give birth at home.
The Bottomline
We're incredibly grateful for the success of our VBAC at home!
We know not everyone has the resources to hire a doula or dive deep into the data and statistics as we did, so it's a pleasure to have been able to share with you all our home birth journey.
Through this home birth series on our blog and YouTube channel, we hope we can help you achieve the best birthing outcomes, regardless of the birthing options you choose.
If there's anything we want you to take away from our experience, it's the reminder that women can trust their bodies because they're built to birth. You can take control of your birth experience!
If you want a copy of our detailed birth plan, download it here for FREE!
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