It’s a new year, friends, and we’re back with some good news: we’re pregnant with our second child!

Since we had our first child, Jere, two years ago, life’s been full. So we thought, “Hey, let’s add more chaos into the mix and make life fuller!”

Jokes aside, of course, we’re grateful for Jere and the blessing of growing our family. Still, we must admit that we’ve found it challenging to strike a delicate balance between our demanding work schedules, and navigating the ups and downs of parenthood and successful marriage in these initial stages.

As a result, we’ve only managed to do two things since becoming parents: look after our son and work full-time.

And that’s why we haven’t been on YouTube for the past few months.

All that’s about to change through our big reset in 2024.

We’ve been eagerly waiting for the perfect moment for our YouTube comeback, and every time we think we've mastered one aspect and think we’re ready, a new learning curve emerges on the horizon.

Clearly, life will only get busier, and we can't keep postponing the things we're passionate about, just hoping for a time when we’ll have enough capacity, time, and energy.

If we genuinely want to return to vlogging and continue sharing life and relationship experiences with you, the time is now or never. So we’ve decided to lean in and do it.

Our Plan: The Big Reset for a Successful Marriage

As we welcome a new year, we want to embrace new habits to bring structure to our everyday lives further.

We believe that the more structure we have, the more happiness in marriage we expect we'll get.

That means we need to set our priorities straight if we want to maintain a happy marriage and be the best parents we wish to be for Jere while pursuing our respective careers.

So, we’re glad to share with you some of the things we’ve been thinking about doing in 2024, and we’re calling this #TheBigReset.

Plan Carefully and Set Realistic Expectations

We spend a lot of time dreaming and discussing ideas, but often, we keep many thoughts in our heads rather than materialising them.

This year, it's crucial for us to incorporate formal and regular sit-down sessions to delve into our plans and document them.

We need action plans to get where we want to be and maintain a healthy marriage.

These plans must be meticulously broken down, enabling us to see each step clearly and identify the partner responsible for its execution.

This clarity ensures accountability and a shared understanding of our collective journey and helps ensure we’re always on the same page. Otherwise, we risk going off track and derailing.

Foster Open and Honest Communication

We’re among the 50.4% of working families in the UK with both parents juggling full-time jobs, and our work commitments can be very demanding.

When we factor in the responsibilities of caring for Jere, time becomes a precious commodity, making effective communication a notable challenge.

Consequently, there are moments when one of us might feel out of sync or harbour resentment and frustrations. This can stem from comments made in passing, lacking sufficient explanation or context.

These instances contribute to diminishing enthusiasm in our relationship and the tasks at hand. 

Checking in regularly with each other is the key to ensuring we stay on the same page. It’s important for us to create space to allow each other to feel safe to express our thoughts and feelings.

Successful marriages are built on the foundation of open communication and respect. So, each of us has to be a good listener.

Our drive to or from church can be the avenue for a weekly check-in. It’s a 40-minute journey, giving us plenty of time to converse and discover how we’re really doing and what the past week’s been like for the other person

So during our weekly check-ins, we plan to ask each other simple but important questions, such as:

• How have you really been this week?

• Is there anything you feel like I lack understanding in?

• Do you need to be supported more in any way?

• Is there anything I can do to make life easier for you?

Rest and Practice Self-Care

We can’t be the best versions of ourselves in our marriage, parenthood, and careers if we fail to look after ourselves and each other.

Our work approaches differ significantly! Gabes approaches tasks seriously and under high pressure, often feeling overwhelmed. On the other hand, Anna takes a more relaxed approach, occasionally facing challenges in meeting deadlines due to her laid-back nature.

We need to both take a new approach and strike a balance if we hope to be the good wife and husband we wish to be.

This was made more apparent after Anna surprised Gabes with a relaxing getaway for his birthday.

That’s when Gabes had an epiphany–– if we want to go faster and harder in life and achieve more, we must incorporate more pit stops in our family journey.

Burnout is a real thing. As resilient as we are, we’re not spared.

If we think we’d be wasting time resting, imagine how much more time we’d be “wasting” if or when we have to recover from burnout.

Proper self-care is the best way to prevent it.

We have to take occasional breaks if we want to go further and build a successful marriage. So, we’re bringing more rest into 2024.

Since we’re being intentional about this, we’ll schedule quarterly family holidays without fail. Our holiday for the first quarter is already booked, so watch out for our upcoming holiday vlogs!

Delegate Tasks to Cultivate More Happiness in Marriage and at Home

To be more effective in the things we do at work and home, we need to learn to outsource!

As much as we want to do everything, we must face reality: we can’t micromanage our home.

A lot of the things on our plate can already be outsourced.

We don’t always have to clean our house or cook our food because these tasks can easily be delegated.

We can hire someone to clean our house. We can order food. We can even go to my mom’s place to eat!

Delegating as many tasks as possible will allow us not to outsource the most important responsibilities: our marriage, Jere, and our newest blessing on the way.

As we empty our plates and get all the help we can get, we’ll have more time for the things that matter most in life.

We’re very protective of our family. Our time with our son is extremely precious, especially during these crucial formative years.

We want to be as present and intentional as we can be as parents, and we can only do that if we have the time.

Outsourcing where we can is also one of the best ways to make regular vlogging on YouTube more sustainable.

It’s an effort to bring more structure into our lives so that we can work on our goals more efficiently. In turn, we can live happily and foster a happy marriage.

Embrace the Struggle

While we strive to lighten the load and enjoy the journey, there are moments when we must grit our teeth, seize life by the horns, and defiantly declare, "Not today, Satan, not today. I will persevere!"

Recently, we've been reading Jere a captivating book titled "We're Going on a Bear Hunt," where a family and their dog embark on an adventurous journey, facing various obstacles with the declaration, "We can't go over it. We can't go under it. We've got to go through it!"

Encouraged by their resilience, we're reminded that in our real-life journey, we can't go around life's challenges. We can't go over them; we can't go under them; we must go through them.

After all, we believe that nothing can stop us from getting to where the Lord wants us to get. But the only way is through–– not around, not over, not under.

It is then our prayer that the Lord enlarges our capacity so that we can do more and achieve more in our lives.

The Bottomline

Anytime is a good time for new beginnings, but the new year is an excellent opportunity to reset and bring more direction into our lives as husband and wife.

Life can really be a lot, even for the happiest couples raising kids. It’s always one thing after another, so we’d love to hear how you plan to live a more balanced life and pursue a successful marriage or relationship this year.

Feel free to leave us a message in the comment section below!

You can also share your thoughts with us after watching the full video here.

As part of our big reset, we plan to do events and face-to-face engagements soon (fingers crossed). You can subscribe to our mailing list to get the latest updates and exclusive scoop on marriages and relationships.

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