Q&A With Anna: The Intricacies of Building a Career in a Male-Dominated Industry While Navigating Motherhood

Don’t be fooled by Anna’s lovely, happy-go-lucky nature who has so much fun on social media.

What everybody may not know is that she’s also a serious career woman with a high-stakes role as an Account Director at an FTSE 100 company.

This is a big deal for young women like Anna because only 19% of sales leadership positions are held by women. In the past decade, the number of career women in sales positions only jumped by 3%.

How was Anna able to navigate the challenges of being a woman in a male-dominated sector, and the highs and lows of her career over the past decade?

In this intimate question-and-answer session with Anna, we unfold her story as a career woman.

Anna, who are you and what do you do for a living?

I work as an Account Director, building, managing, and growing my company’s relationship with several banks.

My role is to ensure that our clients get the most suitable solutions for their businesses. Our goal is to help them maximise the products and services we offer, and our relationship with them.

Innovation is also part of it. So, it’s my duty to ensure we showcase the latest and most valuable solutions that can benefit our clients.

It’s all about building and maintaining relationships with people, which I believe I’m very good at. I like getting to know people, understanding their needs, and being able to respond to such needs.

Essentially, this corporate role aligns very well with my personality and strengths. I believe that’s what allows me to do well every day and go far in sales.

Have you always known you were going to work in sales?

In the African household that I grew up in, nobody had any idea about a career in sales. My mum thought sales was just all about calling people on their landline.

I initially really wanted to be a politician at one point in my life. That’s why I studied politics and sociology at University.

Yet in my first year, I knew right away politics wasn’t for me.

But I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do after graduation, so I just decided to finish the degree.

So to answer the question, no, a sales career wasn’t always part of the plan growing up.

What was your first job after graduating from University?

By the time I was done with my degree, I was wondering what kind of career I wanted. What does my future look like?

I didn’t get any pressure from my parents to go into this or that type of career. I had the flexibility to explore all possible career opportunities.

Before we started dating, Gabes forced me to go to a career open day where I met a Managing Director of a recruitment firm.

The Managing Director invited me to an open day. I attended and learned more about recruitment.

At the end of the day, I landed my first work. That’s the story of how I landed my first sales job.

At the recruitment firm, I had to sell potential candidates to employers so that they could fill their vacancies.

It’s a very transactional and fast-paced work environment. Like how most people perceive the sales workforce, we salespeople were definitely pressured to meet targets.

Because of the highly intense work culture, my colleagues were drinking and smoking a lot.

I didn’t cope well with that environment, especially coming out of my University bubble.

I spent a lot of time with my Christian friends and then I got thrown into this completely different space–– that’s ultimately challenging.

Despite the difficulties I had, I knew right then and there that I loved the fast-paced nature of sales. I knew I loved the responsibilities of shaping a customer’s journey from not understanding what the product is all about to buying the product.

At that early point in my career, I was asking myself, “What are the things I like and don’t like about this role?”

I’ve made it a habit to ask this question at every step of my career.

So every time I shifted jobs, I tried to pursue roles that aligned closely with what I enjoyed in my previous roles.

In my first work, I discovered I didn’t like that I was basically selling people.

I knew I had to find something different, and that’s what led me to tech companies after a year.

I was hired for a junior role at a tech company, where I worked for a year and a half.

Then, I moved to another company, where I stayed for two-and-a-half years.

You moved from one company to the next relatively quickly. Was that a strategic play on your part?

Personally, I don't like wasting time.

If I’m no longer gaining value from being part of a particular company, I’m off.

I know I can bring much value to the companies I work for. But if the structures and processes are not in place to maximise what I can bring to the table, it’s time for me to move on.

In sales, learning the products and services a business offers to be an effective salesperson takes time. There’s a learning curve to navigate at each company, so how did you cope with all the career transitions you had to go through?

It was hectic.

I remember shedding so many tears on the journey getting here.

There were so many times I wanted to give up because I didn’t expect navigating the professional world would be so hard.

I might have been deluded in my bubble, thinking my career journey should just be a linear path.

But it’s been so volatile. To get where I am now required blood, sweat, and tears.

The good thing is that when I was starting to build my career, we were in the early stages of our relationship. We only had ourselves to think about–– no children.

We were living 30 minutes away from the city, so getting to and from our offices was easy. We could work till late at night if we had to.

Work was at the centre of most of our conversations. We were always talking about navigating our career challenges and goals.

Gabes really enabled and empowered me to not give up. Living with someone like him challenges someone like me who tends to quit at the sight of the first obstacle.

The pep talks Gabes would give me about thinking long-term and how tomorrow is going to be much better also helped me a lot.

We invested in our careers in the early days of our relationship, and I thank God we did.

Can you specify the challenges you’ve encountered in your career?

It is extremely difficult because I am different.

In the early days of my career, I was comparing myself to my white counterparts.

They knew a lot about sales, including industry jargon, because their parents were in sales. It was a generational career for some of my fellow employees.

I, on the other hand, was learning and trying to show my family that there is a career in sales.

Since my family didn’t have any background in sales, they were watching me navigate my career instead of giving me counsel.

That made me feel like my colleagues were always a step ahead of me. I felt like I wasn’t as articulate as they were, which I found very intimidating.

Did you ever feel out of place since it was a male-dominated workforce? Did you ever feel like you shouldn’t be in that environment because you couldn’t navigate the usual small talk involving sports, such as football, rugby, and golf?

Yes.

In these moments of feeling out of place, Gabes’ reminder of not giving up came very helpful.

I questioned my ability to hold myself in those conversations. I was very uncomfortable, and I don’t like being uncomfortable, especially when spending nine hours a day in an environment where the vast majority are males.

I didn’t choose to spend time with the people I meet at work. I don’t have anything in common with them.

So normally, I struggled with, “How do I remain in this environment and add value when I’m just so different from these people?”

It was so huge of a challenge that I was tempted to quit every single day.

As I moved along the journey as a career woman, I realised the things I could bring that none of my colleagues could bring.

I am able to get people to open up, a skill I noticed no one among my colleagues had.

They had surface-level conversations with one another and our clients.

I, on the other hand, was able to forge deeper relationships with our clients because I got them to open up.

I didn’t even have to speak much. I just asked questions about what they seemed to be interested in and then, let them do all the talking.

That’s how I get my clients to be more comfortable and nurture a relationship with them over time.

So, I held tightly onto my people skills. These gave me an edge as a career woman.

Have you had any other challenges?

Yes. I have experienced being ignored numerous times. Sometimes, there’s not even an acknowledgement that I’m in the room.

In the early days of my career, I’d try to raise a point in conversations and it’s overlooked. Someone else would share the exact same point and it’s taken seriously.

But I don’t think it was intentional of them to ignore the black woman in the room. I think they’re naturally inclined not to acknowledge someone young or someone who doesn’t look like anyone they’ve seen before.

I think all these factors subconsciously make them question why I’m in the room with them.

Since these things happened often when I was starting, I tended to just shy away.

I was very worried and didn’t understand why they won’t listen to me.

I realised respect builds over time.

At some point in my career, I realised I should allow my work to do the talking.

Now, I speak up and see to it that my colleagues will hear and acknowledge my point.

Now, if someone doesn’t respect me as a sales professional, my attitude is just like, “Watch me. You’ll respect me once you see what I deliver.”

Sometimes, women come across as aggressive when they’re making a point, and people call them names for that. Did you ever get called names?

I didn’t hear people call me names out loud or say something like, “She’s acting like this and that.”

But in later conversations or feedback, people would say that I’ve been a bit abrasive in a particular conversation.

In these situations, I don’t believe that I was abrasive.

If you’re a woman in a senior role, you kind of get away with it because you have authority.

But in my case, I was young and didn’t have that kind of authority.

At the end of the day, what matters the most to me is that I know exactly who I am. I’m a confident woman, and sometimes that rubs people off the wrong way.

I just focus on my long-term objectives, knowing every individual–– male or female, young or old–– has their own battles to face.

I always remind myself that people’s perspectives shouldn’t affect what I think of myself.

If that’s my cross to bear–– people misconstruing how I come across, I’ll just continue being myself to inspire women like me to be confident in who they are and persevere in these kinds of environments.

So, what was the transition from being just a full-time career woman into a full-time working mom like?

It’s definitely been a journey.

Becoming a mother was just another thing I had to navigate in the midst of still figuring out my career.

In hindsight, I think I just got better at being organised to juggle my full-time job and parenthood.

When we discovered we were pregnant with our first child, Jere, we decided to move to a neighbourhood where our families are within a 15-minute radius.

Although being in this neighbourhood meant higher costs of living, longer commute times to work, and limited privacy because our families walk into our house whenever they want to now, we knew moving closer to them would be the best decision for our growing family.

It has enabled us to have all the support we need. If I or Gabes aren’t available to care for Jere, there’s always a family member we can call and count on. If we need help with anything, there’s always someone who can lend us a hand.

That means a lot to me because I don’t have to be distracted worrying about my son while I’m at work.

Unless there’s an emergency or something urgent comes up at home, I’m able to be fully present at work and give it my 100% focus.

Preparation also plays a crucial role in our structure.

I’m not the kind of woman who makes fresh meals every night. We’ve decided that a home-cooked dinner every night isn’t necessarily a main priority for us.

To maximise efficiency, we prepare all our food for the first half of the week on Sunday nights and for the rest of the week on Wednesday nights. We also get takeaway food occasionally.

We make sure everything’s prepared accordingly, so our son and whoever’s looking after him have something to eat. We all know exactly what’s for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

To achieve a good work-life balance, we also step away from the environment often. We ensure we take some time off and go on a holiday every now and then.

It can be taxing being in the same environment and going day in and day out with the same conversations and frustrations. When we step away, we can reflect, rethink our “why”, recalibrate, and recharge.

Then, we’re able to work harder and persevere more when we get back from our holiday.

Knowing how to take breaks is big for me because I’ve experienced burnout several times, especially when Jere came.

After giving birth, I went back to work quickly. That season was tough, especially when our son was five months old. He wasn’t sleeping through the night, so that affected our sleeping patterns.

I had a relatively new full-time job then. The career goals I had didn’t materialise according to plan at the time.

Home life was really difficult because Gabes and I were arguing so much.

It was an absolute mess. I was already having doubts, asking, “What have I gotten myself into? Why am I trying to do everything?”

What made you decide to return to work so quickly after giving birth?

Despite knowing the challenges I might have to face, I pressed on and took a new job. I was confident I was going to do well in the long term.

I was three months pregnant when I started at my current job.

I had so much insecurity at that time because I was on a ticking time bomb. In six months, I’m going off on my maternity leave.

Three months into the company, I was telling my boss that I was pregnant.

I was worried about whether or not I’d have enough time to prove my worth. Would I be able to show my value in six months? Would I be able to deliver what’s expected of me?

Then, there were the worries I had about my first pregnancy. What if I struggle?

In those difficult moments of insecurity, I just reminded myself that my pregnancy is a gift from God.

I wanted to keep my maternity leave short because I was just new.

When you work in sales, you spend a lot of time building up your pipeline of opportunities. For you to just disappear and let that turn into nothing is a big deal.

But to contextualise things, that was the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Gabes and I were working from home at the time and we had a solid support system around us, so I thought we could easily pull it off.

I think I was deluded to say, “How hard could it be?”

It was very difficult, even with the support system we had in place.

The burden on me was greater since we decided to breastfeed. We didn’t want to introduce formula even when it was a lot harder than usual to breastfeed.

How did you navigate all those difficulties?

There was no way to navigate it well. I was an absolute mess during that time.

On top of the situation I had to deal with were the arguments Gabes and I had.

I had no driving force to maintain a positive attitude. I was just in a negative spiral.

Still, I showed up at work every day.

I think there are times when all you have to do is put your head down and keep going, and that’s exactly what I did during that season.

I held on to my “why” and the things I was trying to achieve amid all the difficulties and arguments we had.

I wouldn’t be where I am now if I didn’t press on that time.

I know I will still go through a lot of things in my career and my journey as a mother. But now I just want to celebrate the fact that I’m already on the other side of the trials and tribulations we had when I was in the early stages of my career and parenthood.

I know that whatever challenges lie ahead for me, I can handle them much better.

Sometimes, you just really need to go through the fire to be better. And I believe that’s what happened.

I decided to take the new job even if I was three months pregnant because Gabes and I believed it was the right decision for my career and our family.

We knew it meant greater pay. But one year in, we were wondering where all the money was.

We were expecting to receive the fruits of our decision soon. So, not seeing the benefits of that decision as soon as we wanted added to my frustrations.

But I kept my faith, believing in my abilities, the decisions we’ve made, and our “why”.

I trusted in God’s perfect time. Then, it happened–– I managed to get a promotion after that season.

While we were at it, we didn’t know exactly what the fruits of our labour would be. We thought it was just all about earning more money and hitting sales targets diligently.

But I realised it was so much more. I now hold a much better position in the company, one that I really love and is perfectly aligned with my skill set. 

When the promotion came, everything we went through made sense. It made all the obstacles we had worth it.

Now, it’s easier for me to take a 52-week maternity leave.

If I had taken a long maternity leave during my first pregnancy, I think things would’ve been harder career-wise. Then, those difficulties would’ve compounded into this new season of our journey.

Everyone thought we were crazy when I went back to work right away after having Jere. Now that we’ve made it to the other side, everyone’s like, “Wow, well done.”

We did what we thought was best for our family, and now, we’re reaping the rewards.

You tend to refer to the book entitled “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg. Can you tell us more about it?

Sheryl Sandberg was the COO of Facebook and Google.

She always talks about women in the workplace and the importance of supportive loved ones, especially partners.

In the book entitled “Lean In”, she encourages women to continue to lean in until they no longer have to.

Usually, when women are planning to conceive, they slowly begin to step back in their careers.

The tendency for women is to hold back their career aspirations because they plan to have a baby soon. It could be because of the difficulties of juggling work and parenthood or simply because of societal expectations.

On average, the process of conception takes six to 12 months. It could be longer for some. Then, there are nine months of pregnancy, followed by up to a year of maternity leave.

If a woman chooses this path over her career, that’s already three years of her not leaning into her career.

Reading Sheryl’s book encouraged me to apply for a new job even if we were trying to conceive at the time. Yes, we wanted to have a baby. But we didn’t know when it was going to happen for us, so I just kept leaning into my career.

That’s why I continued to press on, show up, and do the work even if I was pregnant. I took a short maternity leave so that I could keep showing up at work.

And now that I’m pregnant with my second child and I’ve already been promoted, nothing has changed. I will keep leaning in until I leave this organisation.

I would encourage every career woman out there to do the same–– press on until you don’t have to.

This isn’t something I’ve been forced to do or that’s expected of me, but I will show up until I can’t show up. I will press on until my body tells me not to.

I want to be remembered for the Anna that I am. I want to give my all to my job so that when I go on leave, they think of greatness when they think of me.

When I start my maternity leave, I’d give my all to my family, fully step into my shoes as a mum, and not think about work at all.

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that no matter how important my career is to me, I’m not always all about work.

On weekdays, I do 9-to-6 at work. I am fully present at my job during work hours.

Before and after those hours, you won’t even catch me thinking about work or responding to a work email because my family is my main priority during that time.

You’re saying you’re fully present at work and home. That sounds like it requires 100% of you at work and 100% of you at home. On top of that, you’re caring for a toddler. Is it not exhausting?

Of course, it is tiring. That’s why I always emphasise the importance of carving out time for rest.

That’s what our Sundays are for.

It’s also a good thing that there are two of us. If I’m unable to take on something, Gabes can.

But I’ve just accepted the fact that if I don’t want to choose between my career and my family, I’m really going to be more tired than the average person.

Back then, I used to complain about being tired all the time. I was waiting for the day when I won’t be tired.

But we’re in the early stages of parenthood, so it is what it is.

That doesn’t necessarily mean burnout or never resting. It simply means I’m going to be more tired now than when I wasn’t a mum yet.

Are you okay with that?

I am now.

It took a decade for me to be okay with the life that we have now.

How do you navigate married and work life?

Gabes and I always have to be on one accord. Everything starts with the two of us–– not with our son, extended family, work, or anything else.

Where are we trying to get to? What’s next for our family? What should we be focusing on right now? We always have to be on the same page.

If Gabes isn’t okay with me taking a new job or accepting a promotion, there’s no way I’m making the move.

I am able to go hard at work because Gabes has enabled me to. He’s like, “If you need to go to the office, do your thing. I’m going to look after Jere. If you’re at that crucial point in your career, I’ll step back and support you.”

We constantly communicate about what we’re doing or going to do, and where we’re going or where we want to go.

Before we had Jere, both of us could go hard at work at the same time. We were comfortable working from 6am to 10pm.

Now that we have our son and another kid on the way, we understand that somebody needs us to be home.

If we’re both going hard at work and neither of us is willing to take a step back, we’d be needing a third party to step in.

And we don’t want that. We’re all for outsourcing everything we can, but we’re not going to outsource the most important thing in our life–– raising our son.

So we agree that if one of us is charging forward, one has to lean back and be as supportive as one can.

Our kids are our top priority. We want to be the biggest influence in their personal lives.

Since we’re both working full-time, the time we have for our kids is already limited. That’s why now, our evenings and weekends are full of quality time with our son.

I could be pressing further in my career. I could be doing more qualifications and other extra things. I could be working late at night and just get someone to look after Jere in the evenings, but I refuse to do that.

We want to prioritise our kids and our marriage.

Now that our new kid is on the way, we know it’s going to be difficult. But we’re more comfortable now than when we had Jere because we feel like we’ve already done all the hard work in the earlier days of our parenthood.

Do you struggle with mum guilt?

When Jere came out of the nursery for the first time, he was upset and crying.

Gabes said, “We just had to let him go through that process”. He believed Jere would eventually like the nursery.

Meanwhile, I was like, “We need to pull him out of nursery now. He has to be home.”

As a mum, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I probably made the wrong decision of bringing Jere to nursery.

All I saw was his discomfort. He didn’t look happy being there with strangers. I asked myself, “Am I choosing work over my kid that I had to put him through that?”

That’s a clear sign of my mother’s guilt.

What advice would you give to other career women navigating the challenges of their professional journey?

Don’t make long-term decisions based on temporary emotions.

I realised that’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned in my career.

At the moment, you’re feeling these emotions and thinking, “Why am I putting myself through this?”

When you’ve been treated badly by your supervisors, you wonder, “Why should I put myself in this environment where I’m not appreciated?”

You’re too perplexed and worried people don’t understand you, your journey isn’t going the way you expected it to go, and you’re not reaping the results you thought you would.

It’s easy to just want to quit your career, even if that’s not your long-term vision for yourself. I know because I’ve wanted to give up several times, especially during those hard days.

Those emotions can really be overpowering.

I thought my entire career was always going to be like that. I thought I would never find a work environment where I’d feel appreciated. I thought I wasn’t cut out for this industry. I thought I was just meant to be a stay-at-home mum.

All those things fueled my doubts and insecurities.

I acknowledged that all my feelings were valid, but I didn’t let them take control of me.

I’m glad I didn’t make decisions based on those emotions because now, I’ve got a much stronger character. I can handle challenges a lot better. I’ve pushed through, stood the test of time, and now, here I am.

It does get easier. It has become easier for me. Work has become easier over time, and I’m now an expert in my field.

More importantly, I’m now more confident in who I am.

I want to thank Gabes for pushing through and standing by my side all these years. He’s very supportive of my career decisions from the beginning, and I’m really grateful for that.

The Bottomline

Anna's journey exemplifies the dynamic interplay between professional ambition and personal fulfilment, particularly within the context of motherhood and career progression.

If you’re a mum who decides to keep your full-time job after giving birth, we want you to know there’s no reason to feel guilty.

We hope to encourage career women, especially full-time working mums. We understand the constant struggle of working full-time, whether in a male-dominated sector or not, and looking after one’s family as a mother.

To all dedicated corporate babes and working mothers out there, we’d love to hear your stories! What are the challenges and victories you’ve had in your journey as career women and mums?

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